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Joke time! 22 Dec 2014 20:52 #40573

rushwal wrote:

Bikecop1 wrote: All, stay away from Lake Lanier for a couple of weeks. The news just announced that it has been contaminated with di-hydrogen monoxide and if inhaled it could kill you.


I hear it also causes corrosion and rust...


...but will work in a pinch if you're out of powdered water.
"Kiss my ass, I bought a boat; I'm going out to sea." - Lyle Lovett

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Joke time! 22 Dec 2014 20:50 #40572

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Years ago, I had a car with a bad oil leak. I would pull into a full service station and ask the guy to fill it up with oil and check the gas.
The Rivethead formerly known as Russ

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Joke time! 22 Dec 2014 19:26 #40569

Bikecop1 wrote: All, stay away from Lake Lanier for a couple of weeks. The news just announced that it has been contaminated with di-hydrogen monoxide and if inhaled it could kill you.


I hear it also causes corrosion and rust...

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Joke time! 22 Dec 2014 19:17 #40568

All, stay away from Lake Lanier for a couple of weeks. The news just announced that it has been contaminated with di-hydrogen monoxide and if inhaled it could kill you.

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Joke time! 22 Dec 2014 19:04 #40567

Very good Steve!
I tried a couple of years ago to convince a new driver that they needed not only to check the oil but that they should keep an eye on the blinker fluid level also.
"If Bruce Dickenson wants more cowbell, we should probably give him more cowbell." " I've got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell!"
_ Bruce Dickenson

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Joke time! 22 Dec 2014 18:47 #40565

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I found a box of powdered water, but I didn't know what to add...

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Joke time! 22 Dec 2014 14:02 #40555

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The zoo in Philly had a problem, a female gorilla that was in heat. They searched all over the country but couldn't find a zoo willing to give up a male to mate with the gorilla. So, they finally came up with an idea, they called the guy who cleaned up the gorilla's cage into the office. "For $200.00, would you consider mating with the gorilla"? After a little thought, the guy said "only under 3 conditions". "First, I don't want to kiss the gorilla". They had no problem with that. "Second, I don't want anything to do with the offspring such as child support,etc." No problem. "Third, can you give me a couple of weeks to come up with the $200.00"?
The Rivethead formerly known as Russ

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Joke time! 22 Dec 2014 10:22 #40545

A man looks out his window and sees a gorilla sitting in his pine tree. He calls the Gorilla catcher.

The Gorilla catcher arrives in his van and unloads a ladder, a net, a pitbull and a .357

He tells the homeowner: "I am going to climb the ladder, shake the limb and knock the Gorilla to the ground. The pitbull will then hold the gorilla by the nuts whilst you throw the net on him".

The homeowner asks "What's the gun for?"

The gorilla catcher says "If I fall off the ladder SHOOT THE PITBULL"

Anyone with any Gorilla problems call Mark Logan- member Int'l Guild of Gorilla Catchers

merc geo

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Joke time! 22 Dec 2014 10:09 #40544

FEAR: the first time you can't do it the second time.

TERROR: the second time you can't do it the first time :ohmy:

ask me how I know :oops:
merc geo

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Joke time! 22 Dec 2014 05:38 #40536

Two biscuits and a dead hooker were in an oven.

One biscuit says, "It sure is getting hot in here."

The other biscuit says "HOLY CRAP, A TALKING BISCUIT!"

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