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TOPIC: Joke time!

Joke time! 20 Feb 2015 19:25 #43607

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Teacher: Ok class, who would like to tell the class what sounds they heard on our trip to the zoo yesterday?
Suzie: Mooooo
Billy: quack, quack
Cathy: oink,oink
Little Johnny: Hey kid, get off my f'n tractor!

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The Rivethead formerly known as Russ

Joke time! 20 Feb 2015 15:00 #43604

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den wrote: Had to dig but this was in Readers Digest a while back...

Dead ahead, through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light on a collision course with his ship.
He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east."
"Change yours ten degrees west," comes the reply.
The captain responds, "I'm a United States Navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a seaman second class," the next message reads. "Change your course, sir."
The captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
"I'm a lighthouse. Your call."


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:biggrin: Love it1 :holdbreath:

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Joke time! 20 Feb 2015 14:26 #43601

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rushwal wrote: Do Germans call German Shephards... Shephards?



They call them German police dogs..

Hermann Napier, back in 1967, a german fellow. Who worked the circus...had a german shepard, "Daschau of the mountain" and said his breed was German police autch!?

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Carol Tenge

Joke time! 20 Feb 2015 14:07 #43599

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Do Germans call German Shephards... Shephards?

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Joke time! 20 Feb 2015 13:43 #43598

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Bikecop1 wrote: An Irishman walks out of a bar...............What, it could happen.


I just cant stop laffing... Jen, thats great. :silly:

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Carol Tenge

Joke time! 20 Feb 2015 13:15 #43595

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Had to dig but this was in Readers Digest a while back...

Dead ahead, through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light on a collision course with his ship.
He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east."
"Change yours ten degrees west," comes the reply.
The captain responds, "I'm a United States Navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a seaman second class," the next message reads. "Change your course, sir."
The captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
"I'm a lighthouse. Your call."

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"If Bruce Dickenson wants more cowbell, we should probably give him more cowbell." " I've got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell!"
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Joke time! 20 Feb 2015 12:54 #43594

An Irishman walks out of a bar...............What, it could happen.

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Joke time! 20 Feb 2015 11:35 #43593

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Jim wrote: What's the difference between Fish and Meat???

You can't beat your Fish!





How cheap and vulgar....

But a laff riot.. More.. More!

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Carol Tenge

Joke time! 20 Feb 2015 04:25 #43592

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Is she Greek ?

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Joke time! 20 Feb 2015 04:23 #43591

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Q. What type of food causes the most weight gain in women? A. Wedding cake.

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