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TOPIC: Joke time!

Joke time! 14 May 2019 15:25 #95480

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Recently there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco. Mensa, as you probably know, is a national organization for people who have an IQ of 150 or higher.



Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local café. When they sat down one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt.



How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds.



The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.



They called the blonde waitress over ready to dazzle her with their solution. "Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker has pepper.”



But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted: " Oh, sorry about that." She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.



There was dead silence at the Mensa table.
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Joke time! 09 May 2019 21:35 #95305

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thanks John F..........electric vehichles are advancing all the time..........
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Joke time! 06 May 2019 02:31 #95204

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I'm sitting here, loaded with painkilers, trying to wiggle my toe. It's a strange feeling because it still feels like it's there. I know in some lab at the hospital there's a toe wiggling around in a petri dish!
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The Rivethead formerly known as Russ

Joke time! 06 May 2019 01:58 #95202

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A man was frantically pacing around his living room one night, he couldn't stop and kept repeating out loud, "I got to use the bathroom..; I got to use the bathroom... I got to use the bathroom..."

This went on for about ten minutes until his wife, who was reading a book on the couch, finally had her fill with his antics and said, "THEN JUST GO ALREADY! Your driving me crazy!"

"I'm trying, I just can't seem to be able to walk straight, I feel like I have too much right rudder and keep veering to the right, hence the circling! You know I just had surgery, Kathy" Russ proclaimed....

too soon? :whistle: ;) :silly:

Hope all goes well with the results,
Take care
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'58 Vagabond II / '56 Evinrude Lark 30hp
'53 Experimental Flyer / '56 Evinrude Big Twin 30hp
'51 Penguin / '49 Johnson TD20 5hp
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Joke time! 20 Apr 2019 14:02 #94875

A magician was working on a cruise ship.

Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank.

The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it....with the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

"Okay, I give up. Where's the ship????"
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Common sense has become so uncommon that I now consider it to be a super power.

Joke time! 20 Apr 2019 11:27 #94874

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'58 Vagabond II / '56 Evinrude Lark 30hp
'53 Experimental Flyer / '56 Evinrude Big Twin 30hp
'51 Penguin / '49 Johnson TD20 5hp
'52 Cheif / 1957 Johnson FD11 18hp

Joke time! 20 Apr 2019 03:01 #94867

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs.....cause.

...he doesn’t want anyone to know he has been messin’ around with chickens...

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Joke time! 20 Apr 2019 02:57 #94866

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At my age, I can hide my own Easter eggs, and

...30 minutes later...

.......I have no idea where I hid them...

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Joke time! 19 Apr 2019 22:56 #94862

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Hey Rob...What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto :woohoo:
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Mercury Marc, No trailer Queen here! 1958 Hawk II, 1961 Merc 400

Joke time! 18 Apr 2019 22:35 #94821

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My boss told me to have a good day... so I went home :biggrin:
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Mercury Marc, No trailer Queen here! 1958 Hawk II, 1961 Merc 400
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