Our Liars Club host in Cartersville Doug told this joke and all present loved it. Doug did a great job in the voice of Forrest, so try to do the same as you read it. I found a version of it online so here goes.The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.Saint Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.”Forrest responds, “It sure is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Sure hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.”Saint Peter goes on, “Yes, I know Forrest. But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God’s first name?”
 Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.Saint Peter waves him up and asks, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”Forrest says, “Well, the first one: how many days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Shucks, that one’s easy; that’d be Today and Tomorrow!”Saint Peter’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, “Forrest! That’s not what I was thinking, but … you do have a point, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I give you credit for that answer.”“How about the next one?” says Saint Peter. “How many seconds in a year?”“Now that one’s harder,” says Forrest. “But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be 12.”Astounded, Saint Peter says, “Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with 12 seconds in a year?”Forrest says, “Shucks, there gotta be 12: January second, February second, March second …”
“Hold it,” interrupts Saint Peter. “I see where you’re going with it. I guess I see your point, though that wasn’t quite what I had in mind. I’ll give you credit for that one too. Let’s go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name?”Forest says, “Well sure, I know God’s first name. Everybody probably knows. It’s Andy”“Andy?” asks Saint Peter. “What makes you think it’s ‘Andy’?”Forest answers, “It’s in the bible.”
"Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me
Andy tells me I am his own"