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TOPIC: Joke time!

Joke time! 20 Jul 2019 00:13 #97535

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The Rivethead formerly known as Russ

Joke time! 17 Jul 2019 20:47 #97499

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speaking of getting old.........I received this from JohnF, thanks for the laugh......:biggrin:

Magic Moments

 

 

Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a retirement community. They met in the social center and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening.  They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.  Despite his age, Claude was still a charmer.  Afterward, Claude asked Maude to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink.

Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.  

 

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts....

Claude was thinking: "If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been gentler."

Maude was thinking: "If I'd known he could still get it up, I'd have taken off my pantyhose."
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57' Fleet Ranger111-
57' Fleet Cartopper-
53' Deluxe Runabout-
56' Johnson's...Javelin, 2 x 30,15, and 7 1/2 hp
we have not inherited the earth from our fathers, we are borrowing it from our children

uppercanadachapteroftheaomci.yolasite.com/

Joke time! 17 Jul 2019 01:12 #97479

Getting older, and doing the things we do as we get older, I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night.

As I passed through the kitchen, I happened to look out through the rear windows. I noticed a man with a knife, sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden.

Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly. He then dug a grave and put the body in it and covered it.

Shocked and trembling, I got back into bed. My wife said, "You're upset, what is it?"


"You'll never believe what I've just seen," I said....


"That son of a bitch next door still has my shovel."
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Common sense has become so uncommon that I now consider it to be a super power.

Joke time! 16 Jul 2019 23:47 #97475

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Salad isn't food..... salad is a promissory note that food will arrive shortly :woohoo:
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Mercury Marc, No trailer Queen here! 1958 Hawk II, 1961 Merc 400

Joke time! 15 Jul 2019 18:25 #97434

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Joke time! 13 Jul 2019 03:59 #97353

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Joke time! 05 Jul 2019 01:35 #97087

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Now, that was funny.

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John

1958 Vagabond II & 35 HP Evinrude
1955 PlastiCraft 12 Ft. Delux Runabout
1957 Clipper & twin 35 HP Evinrudes
1957 AlumaCraft 14 Ft. FD

Joke time! 05 Jul 2019 00:53 #97084

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“Remember, never compare or compete; just enjoy!" - Carlos Santana

"I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief." - Gerry Spence

Joke time! 22 Jun 2019 19:52 #96653

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what are they tying to say Ray, they dont like the way you cut your hair........or you have a short nose........:tongue:

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57' Fleet Ranger111-
57' Fleet Cartopper-
53' Deluxe Runabout-
56' Johnson's...Javelin, 2 x 30,15, and 7 1/2 hp
we have not inherited the earth from our fathers, we are borrowing it from our children

uppercanadachapteroftheaomci.yolasite.com/

Joke time! 22 Jun 2019 17:32 #96648

My birthday card from my dear friends Linda and Kim;

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Ray

"Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world."
Arthur Schopenhauer

1956 Vagabond I - 50 HP Johnson
1950 Flyer - 50 HP Evinrude
1/2-195something Flash - KG7
1956 Golden Rocket, Sawzall Special
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