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TOPIC: Joke time!

Joke time! 20 Feb 2019 19:31 #93529

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Ray, Are you messing with Dan again?

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John

1958 Vagabond II & 35 HP Evinrude
1955 PlastiCraft 12 Ft. Delux Runabout
1957 Clipper & twin 35 HP Evinrudes
1957 AlumaCraft 14 Ft. FD

Joke time! 20 Feb 2019 19:11 #93528

VinTin wrote:

WetWillie wrote: Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally yesterday,
came back with his shirt ironed and a sandwich.







.......................and a hickey!














What's a hickey, Dan?

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Ray

"Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world."
Arthur Schopenhauer

1956 Vagabond I - 50 HP Johnson
1950 Flyer - 50 HP Evinrude
1/2-195something Flash - KG7
1956 Golden Rocket, Sawzall Special
Last edit: by Locomotion.

Joke time! 20 Feb 2019 17:36 #93523

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WetWillie wrote: Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally yesterday,
came back with his shirt ironed and a sandwich.







.......................and a hickey!

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Last edit: by VinTin.

Joke time! 20 Feb 2019 14:43 #93522

Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally yesterday,
came back with his shirt ironed and a sandwich.
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Common sense has become so uncommon that I now consider it to be a super power.

Joke time! 20 Feb 2019 02:50 #93509

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“Remember, never compare or compete; just enjoy!" - Carlos Santana

"I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief." - Gerry Spence

Joke time! 19 Feb 2019 12:50 #93494

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'58 Vagabond II / '56 Evinrude Lark 30hp
'53 Experimental Flyer / '56 Evinrude Big Twin 30hp
'51 Penguin / '49 Johnson TD20 5hp
'52 Cheif / 1957 Johnson FD11 18hp

Joke time! 19 Feb 2019 04:10 #93492

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Joke time! 11 Feb 2019 05:02 #93375

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Joke time! 09 Feb 2019 17:58 #93340

A daughter asked her mom, Mom did you want a boy or a girl. Her mom replied with, I wanted a backrub.
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Mercury Marc, No trailer Queen here! 1958 Hawk II, 1961 Merc 400 x2, 1955 Mark 25E. 1953 Mark 20

Joke time! 31 Jan 2019 18:09 #93112

Ray the Chicken
Ray came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ray.'

Ray was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ray was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ray the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Ray.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal. He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....

"Ray, wake up! You shit the bed!"

Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be.
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1951 Vagabond
1958 Johnson Super Seahorse 35
1959 Hawk II
1967 Evinrude 40
1957 Johnson Golden Javelin 35
1958 Cartopper
1955 Evinrude 7.5
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