A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and left you. Don't bother coming after me." Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.
She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.
After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
"She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie.
I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like."
He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.
Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote...
"I can see your feet. We're outta bread: be back in five minutes."
I heard a Dr. on TV say to get through the boredom of self isolation we should finish things we start and thus have more calm in our lives. So I looked through the house to find all the things I’ve started but hadn’t finished...
So I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of anzity srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feal rite now. Sned this to all who nead inner piss. An telum u luvum.