A magician was working on a cruise ship.

Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank.

The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it....with the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

"Okay, I give up. Where's the ship????"

Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs.....cause.

...he doesn’t want anyone to know he has been messin’ around with chickens...

At my age, I can hide my own Easter eggs, and

...30 minutes later...

.......I have no idea where I hid them...

Hey Rob...What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto

My boss told me to have a good day... so I went home

HawkEyes wrote: I....I....I.....I am sorry Dave. I was just doing what she asked me to do.

Explain that to the Marine with a hurting Grandmommy!

I....I....I.....I am sorry Dave. I was just doing what she asked me to do.

good thing it wasn't my mother, Marc would be sitting in traction awaiting surgery.........

HawkEyes wrote: Today at the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance..... So I pushed her over

THAT WAS YOU?!!!

I hope you are proud of yourself, "big man"! My sons grandmother and the sweet lady that raised me is sitting in traction right now awaiting surgery!